The Incendiary Crimes of the rogue Thomas Hinchcliffe
A swindler and a scamp was this winsome New England knave
A trickster and a tramp, wit as sharp as a glistening blade
Widows were his prey, this thief needn’t prowl the streets
He’d warm the hearts of lonely women with his foul deceits
Their neediness hid his greediness, his wanton and cruelty
He’d lay in their marriage bed, then abscond with their jewelry
He ran his callous gambit through every hub in our nation
From Biloxi to Salem, he’d make women love him, then hate him
In a Michigan harbor, our villain slipped in with the cargo
On a clipper stocked with liquor set for a shipyard in Chicago
Where his wistful bravado ensnared an unsuspecting dame
All bereft and in pain, the recently-widowed Tessa Tremaine
She was alit by vile Hinchcliffe, all puzzled by his puppetry
Felt guilt for her poor Wilt, but found comfort in his company
She lusted for him hungrily, indulging his salacity
Unbeknownst that his depravity would lead to her calamity
He crafted it happily – her riches, he’d abscond with them all
After she had taken this charlatan to the Congressman’s Ball
Hinchcliffe feigned illness, stricken by a fit of malaise
Said he should get on his way but strictly had insisted she stayed
He slipped into her home, reveling in his sickly boon
Til he saw the shadowy figure seated in the living room.
He spoke.
“Good evening, Thomas. I knew you’d never remember me
I’m the son of Loretta Hennessey from Memphis, Tennessee
My mother was an angel, but I’m sad to say she’s dead
May as well have laid to rest the day you made your way into her bed
She was a mess once you left, and I was met with squalor for it
A poor, dishonored orphan robbed of his father’s fortune
You’re an awful, morbid demon that must pay for your errors
So there’s no fate that’s fairer than to end your reign of terror”
He put a bullet in the chest of Hinchcliffe, the lousy knave
And without delay, lit a match and set the house ablaze
They say Thomas’ heart was coal, and his blood was gasoline
Thus the flames spread in a frenzy, such as no man has seen
An ungodly scene, the citizens watched their fair city succumb
As the fire burned for 38 hours…
One for every woman Hinchcliffe stole their innocence from
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