Interview with Seymour Butts.... by Adonis
(Adonis in regular text, Seymour in
bold)
What's up brother? How's it swangin?
Yo I only got about 7 nanoseconds to do this so pardon the brevity! I'm swinging pretty low right now, testosterone levels are high from a test booster, I'm almost at the strength/bulk I need to be at before I cut and get a right arm sleeve of some MYTHICAL CREATURE. Gonna be dope, but yeah the blood is flowing into my manhood real nice. Side note when u feel happy u really swing LOWER, u feel me??
I gave you plenty of flak early on due to your name being unoriginal. I mean, Bart Simpson did say that joke in the 80's. Any insight behind the moniker?
What u niggas never saw that movie where sean penn is michael douglas' brother and he buys him a weird psychotic FEAR INDUCING life altering philosophy changing game of near death? And he calls on him under the very name at a restaurant? What was that shit called again it was dope!??!?
Controversial topics this week. I would have zero problem slaying any of those topics, but that's just cause my game is well rounded. Anyways, how did you feel about them honestly?
Man it's religion so I'm not even gonna talk about this b/c it's divisive. I'm gonna offend christians, get ostracized and lose in the semis to this SLUT 19-0
What is your favorite TYPE of topic I.e picture, quote, story lead classic phrase etc? And why?
Picture because I am more kinesthetic than audio or visual, lends itself to a wider variety of interpretation imo.
So with out giving us your identity, tell me around when you wrote your first topical?
What? I rushed it at deadline YO like all of them.
How many leagues and tournaments have you participated in?
Dunno prob like 7 or 8.
Give me a name or three, active or none, who you truly place in that all time elite, hall of fame type of tropical lore.
Black Vulgar Sacrifice Oatmeal. Haven't been around but heard 3pa was legendary. I like dull boy and big baby too. Lots of others can come dope here, good parity. Pinot is dope (tee hee).
Taking your name into consideration, whose got that ass game on point? I recently watched into the skin or some shit, horrible movie. But, scarlet Johanson gets buck ass naked, full frontal too, she gotta nice ass yo..
Dawg, I work @ a gym so I see fly booty all day. You can't think like that bc then you'll idolize stars like a moron and subconsciously transfer that to celeb status booties when u see them irl. TBH fuck scarlett, she cool but lotta bitches look like that. Just go anywhere in S. America and fuck fly bitches cheap on your next vacation, fear of dime pieces eradicated permanently.
Other then yourself, who do see winning this thing?
I like Schwartz. 98% sure I Know who he is (lol). Mad template put up a horrible effort I wanted him bad. Like a Lion wants an antelope...like a Tiger wants a do-do bird...
Do you feel like you have a strong sense of who the remaining competitors are?
Dunno about slut and purple tbh. They dope .
I gave you verse of the week last week, I can't remember who, but someone quickly commented yours was the third or fourth best, not so close to numero uno. Thoughts?
They r entitled to their opinion cool w me. Rushed verse anyway. I think temp and rich's rd. 2 verses are the 2 best verses so far by a decent margin.
Netcees is considering multiple types of hall of fame. Not sure if this includes verses or entire careers. But give me a name and our verse or two to research who you would consider a heavy favorite or shoe in?
I'd just peep the archives of the top people like black sacrifice vulgar oats pinot etc. Too many good pieces to name
Alright brother man. Good luck this week and most of all, thank you for being a very great contribution to this league via showing and voting. Anything to add in closing?
Stop acting like pussies. Nobody's perfect dawg. If you need help with money start saving a dollar a day, read books about money. Can't bag bitches? Approach one woman a day. Just start with high even, and study at sosuave.com and similar sites. Fat and Lazy? Join a gym. Start with 1/4 mile and add 1/8th of a mile every day. The point is, this compound effect is at work in every aspect of your life and focusing on any aspect(s) and journaling will allow you to master anything slowly but surely. Non sequitur ish I know but fuck you.
OPEN MIC FEATURE #4
"Hurricane Meredith"
written by Vulgar
A barrel of hay is where the heroin laid..
Her milk-white eyes... portals to the world in a paraffin glaze
Some say her name was Meredith Page..
aged in ways that’d make her parents distressed
in a place of such barren decay, she began to ramble & wretch
Psychic readers had misinformed her; the gift of the magi wasn’t perilous death!
when the pain subsided, she lit a black candle and stretched
but the light seemed perturbed, and engulfed her in a saffronic mesh
The fields of battle were red, littered with flesh and winter hail
Today, instead of fingernails she was peeling carrots instead
on the same ground where the Pharisees bled
This was the fairest of tests..
To see if she could survive on potent drugs, outlive the Sultan’s thugs
thousands of slots had opened up in seraphim sects
and although most of the trials had her weary, perplexed
She committed to a half-life – marriage with death, through Aramaic rites
an antlered sage of rancid plagues, a tramp by day – the Animagus type
daughter of Tatar bands, far from ladylike
with a voice box like a carburator pipe that’d pick apart the Canaanites
Hawkish, cautious, she wore eyeliner made of sperm from pigeons
termed sadistic – eternal dervish who learned from witches
It was her destiny to metamorphose into the mother of all birds… the Griffin
at first, it was a stern religion, as foreign initiates were seeking her out
they’d creep in her house, but all they managed to stir up were screeches & frowns
Winged creatures tended to not have their feet on the ground
“Watch out!” they’d duck as her talons tore out pieces of couch
Next stop: the underworld, if she didn’t halt then she’d be circus bound
The Flying Dutchwoman splintered through infernal clouds
lightning struck her back – yet she was so inimical and blurted out
“Lightning never strikes twice, especially a divine being”
A second bolt struck her in her throat, she cried “What am I seeing?!”
not knowing that the answer was an olden tribe of wunderkind daemons…
what remained of Meredith the Griffin was rubble, feathers and guts
Yes, her ascent was a rush – she thought that she’d been cleverly dubbed
A celestial fowl whose vitality was suspended & such
but in otherworldly realms, even immortality is never enough
Predictions....
Richard Schwartz versus Purple Puke
TOPIC: The Great Chicago Fire of 1871.
Richard seems like a favorite among voters. Puke seems to have just slid by all tournament just about. This match will not be the case. Based on writing so far, Richard is definitely the favorite here. I need to see a lot more from Puke to get a real feel, but he hasn't shown that he is really taking writing serious in this tournament yet. I'll roll with the favorite here.
Richard Schwartz, 85-15/
Seymour Butts versus SlutMachine
TOPIC: The San Francisco Earthquake of 1906.
I think this is the better semifinal match here. Seymour has probably been the more consistent writer, content wise while Slut has been floating under the radar. I expect this one to be good, and I'm interested to see if Butts really pushes the buttons here and if Slut can put together a piece to really keep this one close, or possibly pull off an upset. Like the previous match, I gotta go with the favorite and the most consistent writer thus far.
Seymour Butts, 85-15.
The Outro....
Big ups to Adonis with the assist. Thanks to Template and Seymour Butss for the interviews. Next mag, we'll do better. Til then, good luck to all participants.