First of all, I will state that I enjoyed both. Unfortunately, in competitions one has to be picked off. So here we go...
Siu Mi verse was more formulaic in the rhyming. In other words, Siu Mi way of rhyming was more methodical. However, it was apparent that Siu Mi tripped over words at time. Certain word placement felt off. Regardless the rhyming was top notch.
The language suggests almost this photoshop imagery dictated by the seeking of perfection in one's portrait through manipulating it through tools provided by such programs. I myself have never had it, but I've heard stories of self obsessed individuals who change their depiction because they want to encapsulate pure self perfection through bodily means, vanity if you will.
The overall arching theme was explored with eminent metaphors, and rhyming. Though some lines felt forced, and this kind of ruined the smoothness that should percolate onto the reader upon setting his eyes on the page.
On the other hand Seymour's verse was more wordy, but had more of a reminiscent of a modern inspired narrative. It gripped my attention from start to finish. The emotional wreck that is Tiffany had a more seductive story, more memorable. The rhyming was also quite a feat of unique linguistic prowess; Displaying a good handle on syllabic control.
My vote goes to Seymour because while both had verses I tip my hat to in respect, his verse was more emblematic at the end. Making such an abstract sin, a Christian connotation, into a concrete form carried out by this fictional living person whose story is not so fictional if one becomes aware of the plague inflicting modern society. Virtue's downfall.
Once again my vote is Seymour.
Thank you very much...
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