[PancakeBrah]

Really enjoyable to read.

"caught us- but you got him in, soaked. That giggled laugh
was a song shrieked through the little gaps of lost piano teeth."

"Sinusoidal sobriety of a battered man, ghost. Squeaking soft,
you'd sneak me off. For ninety days a year he'd be your weekend haunt."

"Father sky, wrapped inside an infinite braided loop
and while he writhes & hangs inside the sun and moon,
what became of you?"

In my opinion your strength is description. You know how paint a scene for the reader and find ways to turn mundane observations into the poetic (I'm sure you're tired of being constantly called that but it's apt). Sometimes I think you try too hard to be metaphorical but that's just a preference of mine, I prefer blunt writing because I'm stupid. But that doesn't stop me from enjoying your verses, as you have a style all your own. One of the best here. Thanks for the read.