So I just listened and figured I'd give some constructive criticism. You have a style very reminiscent to Slug's, so as you space out ur freestyles, there's a few things you can do to make the lines more effective. Cut back on the profanity. It just comes across as filler, and even though it helps to provide that pause so you can think of the next thing to say, it ultimately takes up valuable space that you could be using to better emphasize your point. I would challenge yourself. You obviously knew what the concept was going to be, so find q better way of illustrating it. That part where you were saying thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen and going through your age, that was just time consuming. You need to think of better ways to cut the filler out and replace it with something more concise. Not too bad.
|