[UnbornBuddha]

This definitely had more poetic resemblance than a traditional rap verse. Albeit it still is very good. It had a subtleness to it that at first was a bit edgy, a rocky start. But eventually all malapropos gets overridden by a certain loftiness that takes on a voyage of its own. Very vivid images that shower one's imagination with a colorful metaphorical splash. Such as:


"It invites you in, trusting eyes of a butterfly cupping a gutted wing.
Skeletal. Every moment bare but for the caress of time's fabric.
Father sky, wrapped inside an infinite braided loop
and while he writhes & hangs inside the sun and moon"

Having a fatherly/ mother connotation to it I therefore am bold enough to say it also had a parental contextualization whose purpose went from microcosmic to macrocosmic. It unraveled and branched out from the latter into the former. The only uncertainty I truly felt was that the last verse felt out of place. Not in terms of the wording. It felt as if you were still in the same state of mind. Yet, it somehow lacked the setting of the mood that the other had. I realize it's the last bit, but it feels out of place almost ambiguous. Also this would benefit from some straight forwardness to it.
In summary this is a most excellent written, with very dynamic and engaging imagery. You also reminded of the existence of Hot wheels. I entirely had forgotten about that specific play thing. Ah! the basking of memories that come about from reading another's recollections.
Thank you.