[Split]

haha cool verse. I liked how you pretty much freestyled it... not in the sense that, oh, I did this in 1 minute 13 seconds be impressed- but you just let your thoughts come to you. as you wrote. Your concepts & wording will flourish.

schemes and rhymes were very underplayed but I don't mind tbh. I just like reading thoughts & the better they flow the more i enjoy them. I liked the Zapruder film line for no real reason.

off of that, I guess my constructive criticism for the day would be to make sure you emphasize your rhymes well, like matching the cadence/ rhythm of your writing to how your syllables line up and whatnot

Overall it was cool, light-hearted, and it'll be interesting to read your pieces in the future

thanks for the feedback, very much appreciated