Purple Puke - Decent verse here, way too short in length and that didn't help with your story development or progression throughout the verse though and it hindered your writing in my opinion. It needed fleshing out in places, some of the verse just seemed to be getting from A to B in as minimal time as possible - which can work in some pieces - but here it felt like you sold us short as a reader slightly, and it was all the more noticeable given your opponent wrote twice what you had. The last line was pretty deep of you, I don't usually like "twists" in storylines at their very last any more but this one was one of the more plausible and enjoyable. I'm more of a mechanics man but can still appreciate when things are done well, and this was.
Aiko: You were easily the better writer from a technical standpoint, the mecahnics of the verse were on point, reminded me of Oats with the style in all honesty where Puke was more an ill nik-A if you've ever read any topicals by him, only with less multies etc. Similiar way of writing though. I usually like carry-over rhymes and multi-strings when they're done well but a lot of this felt forced to me and unnatural sounding, I can understand WHY it's done, personally I'm just not a fan - which is unusual given how technical I am as a writer and know how hard it can be to do. It just felt like a lyrical exercise going through the motions, rather than building up characters or a situation I could actually care for and about what happens to those involved, it just didnt connect with me in that way where I could relate to it. The two of you could actually learn a lot from each other than would be mutually benefitial, one with his more natural sounding rhyme and verse and execution, the other from a technical standpoint with rhymeschemes etc. Complete clash of styles and writers voices. I'm giving Purple Puke the win here, total personal preference.
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