Quote:
Originally Posted by Vulgar
Yet, even though he appeared so soft
He began to hear chattering whispers that schizo’s got.
^Soft and got barely rhyme.. I would've went with "schitzophrenics got"
|
soft and got barely rhyme, but i have no problem with "Appeared so Soft / Schi-zo's Got." Kinda like it.
Buddha, in my opinion you should capitalize your multis so as to make it an "easier read"...not necessarily all of them...but perhaps the ones that need to be drawn out or sped up in order to make the rhythm work better.
for example:
Things like “become a faun for your displeased as Faust is”.
The poster child of Flawless Manners began to be Tarnished.
i myself also need work on syllabic tempo...it's informative to see things broken down like this, by Vulgar or whoever else.
@
UnbornBuddha @
Vulgar