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Old 08-05-2014, 12:14 AM   #12
UnbornBuddha
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I appreciate the involvement, however slight the inspiration. This piece is comical. It had a flair of pizzazz and the head lice line is funny. I do confess that as someone who likes to rhyme in such way I might be getting it, jk. Sometimes your rhyme scheme seems a bit off which throws of the flow a bit. But other than that, I think this was okay. This seemed more like a fun piece, than anything really serious. Although even this piece of lightheartedness should not be taken lightly when writing. Everything one writes one should put their entire heart in. Well that's what I think, you could disagree. But anyways, l also like the first 4 introductory lines because they have a pertinence to it that highlights the small things in life. Such as finding a new song, being enamored by it, and then listening to it so much one's perceptions of it begin to change. Keep writing.
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