Innovator - I kinda felt a bit 'lost at sea' so to speak at times, I
wasnt really sure what you were trying to portrait. I did enjoy how it
read, the rhymes and imagaery were nice at times. On the second read I
understood it more, ive only just woke up too so maybe thats why I felt
a little confused. Not the best ive seen from you but nice showing bud
Patrown - If im been honest with the concept you chose you could of
wrote a lot more in depth and really delved into the dark side of the
story, it felt like you had a great story but little substance. This been
said, on the whole it read smoothly and altho there wasnt much I really
liked about it, there wasnt much I disliked, other than Ive seen you
write a lot better, more in depth in previous verses.
On the whole, this could go either way but
on overall preference my vote goes to patrown.
Just enjoyed it that little bit more
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