mike wrecka - a lot of what you said i feel a direct relation to, many parts seem like they could be taken from my own book. definitely a trip. great alliteration in parts. flow went well overall.
like a warthog trying to circumnavigate outer space/-halo throwback? lol
although your imagery worked well with the greater message, id idn't feel it all tied in to the stories conclusion as much as would have warranted the /v i wanted to give you. only advice.
mementos from this monumental moment thats momentous/
the alliteration there seemed a little abrupt. whether led into, or out from, i feel like a few M's would've not left that line alienated.
/v red glare- holy pumpkin jumping jehosaphat twiddle dee hickory - i lol'd
you sir are a beast. a fucking beast man. like that evil huge monster cartman rode in that one episode.. beast.
i like how you split up rhymes like here..
demise is vindictive, cringe and witness it's crucifixion
listen to the fire crackle, hear the caster; sayer of sooth and the sickness
assonance sounds good when drug out correctly.. enjoyed that. you came with some top notch rhymes and i have no advice, cuz i saw no errors.
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