Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen
Now I'm left with a wine tip in the tray, soda and bourbon for dinner.
Flipped my mattress over. Now there's no more indentions.
Now look the mattress over.
You'd never know she existed.
I pushed her away. Asked only for distance.
"Have it your way."
Her tone was different.
She packed her things, and hit the road in her Civic.
I replay those moments over hoping to forget it,
til that day I look the house over,
and don't know anyone's missing...
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All dope. What made this powerful was that it had a lot of truth to it, and the nuances of your experience that all of us go through are forgotten as we are healed by time and space from those we miss.
Very good wording throughout, would say great but there were a couple places where you forced a phrase or something. Really thought the imagery was well above par for the OM. Good job Zen man. Not directionless/ random at all