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Old 07-27-2014, 08:25 AM   #14
King Ra.
The Throne, The Crown
 
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Interesting. Amen, I have a love/hate relationship with your bar. The set up was okay. The nameplay attempt is a bit awkward. And for me, it's because of the punch you used to deliver it. It doesn't seem to connect for me. Probably could have reworded it to make it more cleaner. Mal, I have a similar issue with your bar as well. But for yours, it's more of the fact that the "punch" aspect reads a bit more bragging than a straight punch.

Reading both bars a couple more times... Amen's set up was a self-hype set up leading to a nameplay-punch connection which doesn't deliver much for me. Mal's set up was a direct shot, leading to his nameplay-punch connection, which comes off more brag than punch, but still has a bit more of a connection. All in all, Mal's bar reads more cleaner, smoother for me while Amen's seemed to build up to the nameplay-punch... but slightly misses the point.

MVGT: Malachi. Good job by both competitors.
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