wow?
ck - this was siiick.. ening.. and really good. the gritty glands etc etc.. just too picturesque not to be effective.
i'm impressed by the multiples here, they were interwoven smoothly. effortlessly. my favorite two bars..
On a stretcher, stretched in this nursing nest of perfect pets
A herd, deaf to the immersing depth of merged neglect
also, the ritalin line was stellar. a patient whose patience.. bwahh.. i'm fucking jelly man honestly i envy you.
kuja-You sir, write excellent stories. didn't lose me for a second here. came through with that twist like clockwork.
your layout was most excellent. jumps between syllable counts complimented the flow of the piece especially well.
the creepy tone from the stalkers perspective was awesome. "a thousand stares.." a lot was said without actually saying it here, which to me, gives much to chew on a second and third read through.
/v ck- just came through too strong for me to not vote for you. no matter which verse was against you, from any writer.. of any time, it would still have been hard to vote against this weeks piece for the sheer insanity of it. although i could grasps ahold of kuja's story better and technically "enjoyed" the read more.. when i look at yours, i'm just baffled by how descriptive you are. also, the chronological progression of the story of the character was subtle, but there. almost went the other way.. but you got me with the subtle, yet solid plot.
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