Dagel, I hear that your verse was considered HOF worthy & even you believe your verse is HOF worthy? From what I read this week, you are a good writer, but if your thought process is that level of conceitedness all the time, that's a shame. I liked your storytelling for the most part. Your first stanza was better written that the second, but overall, it was solid. The comparison of a boxer to a scholar was cool, and you even did a good job with your descriptions. Rhyme scheme was okay, though it felt bland at times. There were some parts that just did not connect well though with your story, like what Vulgar pointed out, but nothing too drastic. TopicalDood, you went the conceptual like route, and as everyone else has probably stated, your imagery was a standout. I feel imagery is one of my best strengths in writing, and what you did here with it was off the charts. Like a few other pieces I've read this week, this had knowledge, a philosophical touch which I thought you did well in presenting, meshed with the use of imagery very well. Your scheme was solid. There was one or two places where I was thrown a bit off, but aside from that small issue, everything was good. So we have again, another story going up against a conceptual piece. Dagel's piece was nice, well written but I felt Dood's piece was that and then some, a more intriguing take on the topic with great imagery.
MVGT: TopicalDood5.
|