[Split]

Timeless-

I like the duality of both the main characters being "less than hero" for conflicting reasons. For each, 'hero' is status. For Eve, that moniker is meaningless. She isn't a hero, and she knows it... to the point that she doesn't even acknowledge the responsibility that comes with her job title.

The narrator's idea of hero is himself, glorified. I think that your tone could have been more developed, I feel as though we are made to empathize with the guy because of the unfairness of the academy's decision... and yet, we are not made to empathize with the guy himself. In fact, he feels a bit too sorry for himself as a result of you driving home the point that he tried to earn his position so hard. I was expecting a moving closing sentiment on the meaning of duty, and maybe a glimpse into the future to reinforce it.

The ending felt pretty cheap, I guess. "If I can't be the hero I'll be the villain" is trite.


YDK. Haha you took us on an interesting journey for sure, pretty funny. Like the rhyming as well. Light-hearted. Could be a little more theatrical and a little less sensational, but hey. Timeless, I'd say the exact opposite. I think YDK had cooler language/ rhyming/ writing in general.


I guess I preferred YDK's fantastic voyage over Timeless's cop drama. Good match.

VYDK