"- My life is my word
and I’m more tight-lipped than I would prefer.
Silence the air when we step out for dinner,
Body heat -- commodity, expounding winter.
Estranged. Hugged it out and you found I was thinner."
The best section. The last line in particular.
Well written. The first three lines were a little clunky but once you got into a more 'normal' scheme I picked up the vibe. I'm simple, I suppose. Nice use of punctuation to assist the reader in picking up your flow/rhythm. Pretty air tight in terms of execution. There were one or two lines that dipped below the rest in quality but overall strong throughout.
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Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder
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