Timeless-
So our intrepid narrator has his dream dashed and in a fit of jealousy and inadequacy he kills his life partner for obtaining it, despite the fact she didn't have nearly the zeal for the job that he did. He then gets another rejection at the gates of heaven.
I thought this was okay. A little paint by numbers. The characters weren't fleshed out in any way. So we're left with a snapshot when the collage is necessary. There's no empathy here. The rhyme mechanics were rudimentary. You gave a reason why our narrator wasn't accepted into the force (the college requirement) but I feel that it was a tiny plothole. I can't imagine they'd let someone in to training who didn't meet a requirement that would then preclude them from graduating. The denial at the end was a nice little touch. A bit funny. What a hard luck guy. Also, the "Shoot for a better life" line was the best of the piece. I didn't like the use of "Sooooooooo". Seemed a bit too much. This relationship must've been pretty untenable if he felt the need to shoot her for this. Maybe they should've just had a big fight, since he's so insecure, and called the whole thing off. He'd have a nice cup of coffee at the local cafe the next day and maybe enroll in online classes. It is just one year, after all. He seems a bit off kilter. Wouldn't chill with that bro.
YDK -
So our intrepid narrator has his dream dashed by some meddlesome aliens who tear him apart. All he wanted to do was some deep space R&D and they come and filet him instead. Poor bastard.
This was pretty straightforward. 3010. That's a long time from now. I wonder if they have new types of Oreos? Butter Pecan. Your rhyming was above rudimentary. I liked the parenthetical phrase. I'm a big fan of parenthetical phrases. Maybe I have thing for parentheses.
We've all read this story before. Uncle Jimbo from Alabama tells this story, first hand. You went first person with it. Have you ever been anally probed? This was okay, it didn't really wow me. If you're going to go deep space nine there better be something new for the aliens to disecct (sic). But here there wasn't. No crazy rhyming to take my mind of the known plot. No deeper insight; in fact not much at all. A story as old as time itself, with no new additions. Needed a patio.
A lackluster semifinal match, to be frank. You two were in a dead heat, story wise. Nothing that tickled my fancy. And if my fancy isn't tickled, it comes down to who executed better. That was YDK. You both had some weird typo's. YDK at least tried to rhyme with a modicum of complexity to assist his dry story. I can't say the same for timeless.
Good luck to the winner.
v/YDK