[Nigma]

Sometimes unplanned days go great, most the time they fail
there’s different ways to celebrate escape & toast to fine details
there’s no bad dreams at wakes & if provoked u bite your nails
saw the light that paved the way but a mother’s hope denied the trail
u have to cope & find your sail… the winds are blowing south
north is where u should be but self-pity’s sting’s not slowing down

Solid intro, beginning to develop some concepts. Besides the last bar you maintained a pretty consistent rhyme scheme.

violins make golden sounds… its melodies begging to follow

Have you met Big Game?

While enemies keep sending u their complementary bottles
Exemplary struggles, it’s the perfect way to initiate those in pain
substitutes are short term solutions but it alleviates most the shame
facilitate growth not blame, but u continue to point the finger
there’ll always be cold days but resolution helps u enjoy the winter
but when u avoid… it lingers, who listens when the ridiculed speak?
plus compiled issues are just life time subscriptions of difficulties

Stayed pretty consistent throughout, the bold part was pretty dope.

where do the cynical meet? The 13th floor’s vacancy troubles many
but luck isn’t an emotion & we all at some point will struggle plenty
every rubble’s messy, ask for the strength to pick yourself from it
or settle for indolence as betraying your abilities is also hell’s promise

I don't hate the way you ended it, but felt like you could have done a bit more with it. A bit more of a message with a punch as well as some tweaked wording would have made it stand out a bit more in my eyes.



Still overall a pretty good read, I've read some of your battles but this is the first topical I've seen from you. You stayed fairly solid, my biggest advice would be to set out making your ending one of the best parts of the verse, if not the most important. Sometimes it doesn't always end up working out that way, however the final words a verse often dictate its lasting memory with the reader.