[Cereal_Killa]

Innovator:
Hey cool, nice read.. A lil diddy but solid in its own rights.. Inspiring verses always hit home wen done correctly, I mean its hard to push a strong message without being preachy.. I think with dark topics its easier to be forceful with your point cause the characters are generally messy so its fitting.. Reading this was like words floating in the breeze, it was highly pleasant and soothing.. I haven’t read your work before, the subtleness in this works wonderful ly but I’d like to see if you do more intense pieces.. just to see if you give them the advance rhyme structures needed to slap a reader in the face.. Great work none the less..

Pat:
The MC of true spirit :) Man this was solid, the delivery has improved completely in this drop.. it def suited the piece, I mean the dialogue didn’t need to be high caliber to be well placed.. you still need to advance that rhyme scheme but it was cool, you where writing from pov of a child so it works.. Story itself due to the constant American shootings its def relevant and without really going into the parents you proved your point on the topic.. The progression moves smoothly, due to your style you revealed the end well b4 your final bars but still as a reader at that point I was looking for emotion which you had.. Cool piece..

Vote = patrown

This was oober close, I mean I haven’t checked votes properly yet but this will come down to the wire.. I am up front a story man, I mean honestly writing a topical against a story imo you have to come up with something completely left field and then convince me (even for a second) that your point of view is the way I should be thinking.. whether you believe it yourself.. in the end a topical up against a story is crazy, there is 10x as many elements to look at and way up in a fully developed story.. Saying that Inn still brought some fine work to the table.. Appreciate the read.. Nice verses guys..