Mike Wrecka:
The beginning (first four lines or so) was really eh, but then it picked up. That flower/thorns line, and the food for thought line.. Nice.
As was this:
Quote:
the blackness erupts so abrupt, and makes me feel calm
|
That memento line... it was too easy of a multi and didn't really add much to the verse tbh.. But enough about specifics. You did a good job of producing some colorful imagery without getting caught up and slowed down by investing too many lines into small details. The wording in some places did feel awkward however.
Red glare:
That vocab... whew. Don't remember the last time i had to look up a word for a verse, but you got me with thyrsus. The fantasy black magic take on the topic is unique in the sense that no one on here really delves into that stuff as often.
Both had some nice verses.. But I think the difference for me here was that Red glare's verse had some extra length to it, which he used to give his piece some added depth and sweet images. The pace also kept the verse from getting tiring, which is always a concern with longer verses...
Vote: Red glare