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Old 03-25-2013, 11:16 PM   #12
Adonis
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Beer Goggles
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Battle Record: 36-34


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CK - first off, imagery was key to your verse. The concept of literally eating shit made me cringe, yet the fact you could explain it in words makes me happy, knowing your successful with words. Anywyas, the flow was good. The line structure, awkward, but it flowed none the less. I'm not a fan of using video in verses as I feel it helps draw your point across. At first read I thought I was only reading of a canabals life. Second read I discovered the nut house, then watched video and it clicked...thus the video helping you beyond your own words. All in all I thoroughly enjoyed your voice while writting (no homo), you kept a solid pace and moved quickly between images of prison, feeding, nut house and tied them together with "the death". Dope verse my man, notice no complaints other then video??? There are none...also, after reading the verse and before reading your competitors I walked away for second...and it clicked. He was a canibal because he was hungry, only feeding on pills, yet a man offered him his body, and he took it. Just something I first missed.


Kuja - I really like and enjoyed the way you wrote this. Some of the phrases were amazing alone...such as "in the coaster que"...not sure how you worded on phone sorry, but little things like that where you could say line but opt out and use a thesaurus I am greatful for. I liked the rhyme scheme and it was easy to read except for a few minor details. I will say you the rhymes came off as simple, I see the attempt at multis...wants her/conquer...but they still, IMO, read as simple. I did notice the way you write highlighted the fact you used the begining of bars with the ending rhymes in previous bars, liked that a lot. Imagery was good, at one point thought you were getting gruesome, but you did not, I would prefer you did though. All in all a very solid verse, like I said, I really do like your style.


vote - Cereal Killer. I can sum the reasoning of the vote easily. Well I enjoyed the story line of Kuja, the twist to me was a bit corny. I mean jack was going to kill lucy, then he's soo shocked when she dies in front of him. To me it felt like the easy way out. That was my only real complaint in either verse, great battle @ both of you
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