WE WOULD LIKE THE VENERABLE JURY TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT DUE TO THE HEINOUS NATURE OF MR. AKERS' CRIMES, DEPUTY BAGSWORTH FELT IT NECESSARY TO SURPASS ALL LEGAL PRECEDENTS IN INTERESTS OF DETAINING THE SUSPECT
MAY I REMIND YOU THAT THE TEXT POLICES EFFORTS FAILED TO LOCATE THE PORCINE PERPETRATOR DUE TO HIS SUBTERRANEAN HOG HIDEHOUT, HERETO REFERRED TO AS THE "DWELLER CELLAR", WHICH IS SHIELDED FROM INFRARED RAYS, RADIO WAVES, PORN SUBSCRIPTION FEES AND COOTIES TYPES A THRU C
I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST THAT ALL MENTION OF THE HONORABLE MR. BENTLEY'S TRANSGRESSIONS BE REDACTED FROM THE RECORD, REMINDING THE PEOPLE OF THE COURT ONCE AGAIN THAT MR. AKERS FALLS NOT UNDER OUR LEGAL JURISDICTION BUT AFRICA'S LEGAL ECOSYSTEM, AND THUS HABEAS CORPUS IS SUBSTITUTED BY HAKUNA MATATA
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS
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I'll take the case
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