[oats]

Zenland:

your rhyming was deft and technical, and nothing really jumped out at me as forced or anything. The writing itself was dope.

I like how you maneuvered back and forth on subjects, great use of the unreliable narrator. He's unsure about everything, except he's pretty certain that he's confused. There were some funny moments of insight, my favorite being that Liam neeson is proof that people can change. It was funny, but also underscored a deep unsettling feeling that people are not capable of changing, and if they do change it's an act.

I took this as a bit of a fatalist meditation with a hopeful twang. Shit is fucked up, we're all crazy and confused, and even though no one knows what's going on/we're bound to die, we still rise and get on with life. I liked it, though I have to admit that I did have to stretch a bit to arrive at that conclusion. That's the main gripe I have; this seems to be only loosely affiliated with the topic at hand, which cheapens it a bit. Almost like, this is a zenland verse that just so happens to kind of connect with the topic. It's like how will Ferrell is the same person in different roles. He's hilarious (I think), and it works, but he's always will Ferrell in a character, and this is how that felt. If that makes any sense.

Overall, dope verse, with only a small strike against it.


Ra:

short and sweet with dope rhymes and a cosmic grandeur that I definitely vibe with. This is a quintessential king RA verse IMO - you go big and set a massive scale for your approach, as large in scope as you can really go. Your ambitious sense of largeness is one of my favorite aspects of your writing.

Ra is the sun god, no? Very fitting for "still I rise," and the sense of oneness with the universe also worked well. It's like that Sagan quote: we're the universe thinking about itself (or something like that); the sun, in that way, is the universe because it sustains the sentience that allows us to recognize the rest of nature. And of course, the whole panspermia angle is present, as it should be.

My one qualm here is that the thoughts didn't make me think or feel anything that unique or new to me. Which is unfair, since I mainly feel this way because ive personally written many verses with similar themes as this, so it comes as less novel. Part of the lack of impact is that it also feels a tad stunted and underdeveloped. It's dope, but there's room for more analysis and introspection that would strengthen it.

This was also really dope, I just wish there was more.


Vote: very tough to vote on. I think both delivered characteristic verses that played to their strengths, so it's dope to see two of the best at their most comfortable. Ultimately, I gotta give it to Zen because I left his verse feeling more challenged. I just was engaged on a different level that I enjoyed more. I can honestly see this go back and forth on votes, because both had great verses with only minor dents in their sheen. Great battle to both of you, definitely BOTW ;)