Thread: yaya
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Old 06-24-2014, 07:57 PM   #4
Witty
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Yo this was dope, I liked a lot of things about this. I'm not sure I've ever seen you write in this way before and I enjoyed it, the rhymes were dope and the honesty in the piece was appreciated, I think it adds more to a piece when there's an insight into the mind of the writer and you did that very well with this verse.

Quote:
Athiest, still hoping to make it to heaven. Submission, suppression. Suggestions: Hate is a weapon. Half-empty/Half-full. Totally wasting perception. A coma patient only afraid of reception.
These were probably my favourite lines, it was awesome because there were a lot of cool phrases and images being thrown around in quick succession, I think it forces the mind to engage more and makes the reader focus harder on the piece, it's a good technique to use. You should definitely write more pieces like this, I agree with black that you are definitely coming into your own as a writer in regards to the content of the piece as much as the style, this was top notch writing and I'm looking forward to the next shit you write, if you keep polishing things up and putting as much effort and honesty into your writing as you did in this piece you will only get doper and doper.

This was really dope man, thanks for the read, props bro.
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Last edited by Witty; 06-24-2014 at 08:00 PM.
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