Thread: Planet Music
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Old 06-24-2014, 05:23 PM   #3
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this was cool for a quick comparison piece. running metaphor, check. transitive imagery, check. i wasn't crazy about the rhythm or the rhyme in spots because you didn't have the right language to support the stretches between your key concepts.

salty wind was interesting.. kind of awkward. some of your adjective language feels out of place. like over description at the expense of other things.

music and nature and beauty and love. yes, it is all great

thanks man and welcome i guess?


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