:(
this was really good and really sad. especially if youve ever watched this happen to somebody you really cared about. i feel like you've written something similar to this before no? could have been somebody else..
but yeah man fuck. this was heavy.
Quote:
His addiction is my jail and his prison's the same, I wish his liver would drain
And save him from himself, give him a new life and let him live it again
But his fight slips by the day, he's getting thin, with gout in his digital vein
He fidgets, complains, his sober mind finds the world glib and profane
He wants to live in a world where nothing that exists is mundane
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one of my best friends. a brother to me. went through something similar. still is to an extend. he is miserably bored every time he is not poisoning himself with some substance or another. its like hanging out with a little kid who needs to be constantly entertained or he drives you up the fucking wall. we can't go get a bite to eat without a line or a drink.
its shitty.
you describe it very well clearly. strong rhyming. not altogether transporting in it's word choice but solid and concise in the same. nothing romanticized beyond functionality. you're one of the more ergonomic writers here. practical. i get the sense your personality and decision making follows a similar path.
While staring at a picture of a dove up on the drywall
the entire scene here was well done. its when your alone that everything begins to surface and something so objective out of context becomes the symbol for everything thats wrong.
the fact that you flipped the meaning of this symbol at the conclusion was dope. everything fell into place thematically. again, you are a practical writer and prefer not to leave us loose ends.
great submission. tough to read but it should be like that sometimes.
thanks
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