Vulgar: This was your best verse of the season and the best storytelling verse I've seen from you. You created a unique and memorable world that made sense in part because I used to play King's Quest as a kid. The only weak spot was the daughter character, whose letter was a bit weak and who never quite felt whole or explained. But the way you ended it was clever as hell and didn't feel rushed, especially on second read. The rhymes were strong. You enter the playoffs with quite a bit of momentum.
timeless: The first two lines were brutally bad, with one of the easiest single-syllable rhymes being forced over and over. The writing here was just well, well below what your normal standard is. It was clear you didn't care. Things like "I sleep in graves I dug out. When the paint faded out," make it clear that this was haphazard.
Vote: Vulgar
__________________
I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.
|