Bladed Thesis - You took a literal route with the topic and connected on the basis of school shootouts being the work of the grim reaper, or a devilish entity who is possessing kids to permit a re-generating Columbine gaming module for entertainment purposes. The rhyming was iffy during many parts but there were also nice, skillful touches with wording and the build up of the central concept. This part was tight:
"Walks into a classroom, kids under the desks squirming too much
Goddamn campers, unworthy to fuss over as he's currently rushed
Quiet now except for crying as the heater speaks and surely it gusts
A familiar face returns his smile before their reassurance combusts
In a bloodly crimson cloud--their last lesson in learning distrust"
Pretty ill section. One suggestion might be to explain some of the limits of the grim reaper's game, which might have sound rules. What can't he do while playing and why? Is this a duty of his, or is it some perverted, morbid source of pleasure to engage in the deathmatch? Some video gamers commit suicide too, you know. :)
King Ra - This is what the ideal interpretation of the topic looks like, but you really pulled it off without being totally obvious about what we'd initially expect. Post-read, I liked this one a lot and would even recommend it to a friend of mine who plays videogames excessively. He's also fat but he plays basketball so he's trying.
"26-year Zhuang from China weighed 330-pounds & decided to run a marathon-
seriously. He planned to play online games during a holiday break, all week long."
^lol, well played.
The portrayal of the grim reaper as just doing his job objectively vs. enjoying it immensely at the expense of children's lives showed the original and diverse approaches you both took. I liked Ra's more, though his beginning stanza was on the weak side.
Nice battle. gg
Vote - King Ra
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