Netcees - View Single Post - Week 15: patrown (2-3) vs. Bladed Thesis (2-0) \\ Bladed Thesis wins 4-3

e11even · 06-09-2014, 02:43 AM

Bladed Thesis- this rhymed extremely well. The dialogue at the end was crazy unnatural, but the flow was so intensely consistent though. I kinda dug the story. If felt like a pornhub rehash of the Man Of Steel told in favor of General Zod. I don't know. The whole pyramid thing at the end was a curious touch, but I think I favored it. I think your creativity outside the confines of the topic was the strong point of this piece. That and, of course, the insane rhymefest. Good job.

Patrown- i actually really liked where you had this story going once the girl arrived, but the other 60% was like...."ok?" I do think it's hilarious how everyone is afraid of this grotesque mal - formed demon chick the size of an egg. I can't visualize that without a smirk. It comes off as badly as a meatballs sequel in outer space. Lots of gratuitous gore with no real fear factor. I think a more intense and descriptive opening followed by an insane folly of death montages would have been awesome, but I'm crazy like that. Overall good job, but more could have been done here.

I think both these verses have great qualities. The biggest one of all is potential. I think these stories, with more time and direction, could have been a lot better. But I also dig the effort that both already had. By way of lasting impression, MVGT Bladed Thesis for a cooler more developed piece.

06-09-2014, 02:43 AM	#10
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	Bladed Thesis- this rhymed extremely well. The dialogue at the end was crazy unnatural, but the flow was so intensely consistent though. I kinda dug the story. If felt like a pornhub rehash of the Man Of Steel told in favor of General Zod. I don't know. The whole pyramid thing at the end was a curious touch, but I think I favored it. I think your creativity outside the confines of the topic was the strong point of this piece. That and, of course, the insane rhymefest. Good job. Patrown- i actually really liked where you had this story going once the girl arrived, but the other 60% was like...."ok?" I do think it's hilarious how everyone is afraid of this grotesque mal - formed demon chick the size of an egg. I can't visualize that without a smirk. It comes off as badly as a meatballs sequel in outer space. Lots of gratuitous gore with no real fear factor. I think a more intense and descriptive opening followed by an insane folly of death montages would have been awesome, but I'm crazy like that. Overall good job, but more could have been done here. I think both these verses have great qualities. The biggest one of all is potential. I think these stories, with more time and direction, could have been a lot better. But I also dig the effort that both already had. By way of lasting impression, MVGT Bladed Thesis for a cooler more developed piece. __________________ Ahem.