Adonis- I heard about the shooting briefly, but hadn't known the details til Zyg pointed your angle out. I immediately did some research, so as not to sound like a complete idiot voting in this battle :). I think this was pretty good for what it was, considering there was no third dimension to really own this story and develop it into something more encapsulating. I feel like you kinda told it from his perpective, but lacking some of the personality I feel a really personal piece would have. That said, I loved your metaphors and phrasing, as some literal misogynistic language was taken for metaphors and vice versa. That was [unintentionally?] clever and added the entertainment value this piece sorta depended on. I think a unique perspective could have made this a lot fresher (maybe from a female's perspective in the attack?). Either way this was pretty good.
Zyg- This was a Yes Man type joint that I kinda liked. I think the cliche excitement was missing, but everything else was spot-on and expertly crafted. Your rhyming was awesome and extraordinarily natural for it to be such an easy-to-exaggerate angle. I would have forced every end rhyme in that bitch. I have seen more than my fair share of infomercials and self help ads and books, and I must say, no one will get much closer to the real thing than this. This approach is not popular with me, but one cannot ignore this level of execution. Bravo.
Both of you wrote well and showed you can both go a little left field from your usuals, which is great. Though Zyg's piece didn't impress me from the angle standpoint, he definitely scored in the follow through, flow, and natural language departments, respectively. MVGT Zyg.
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Ahem.
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