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Old 06-02-2014, 12:15 AM   #7
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

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Adonis - Elliot's voice was effective, although the storyline settled into 'regular' mode for me. I think you covered too many bases, making it really obvious that he was a killer. Ambiguity and indifference from a character is more intriguing for me than one with specific examples provided, because you almost know what's coming. The best part about it was the keen attention to pacing and the flow.

Zygote - This bordered on being something very vibrant, like a fringe contender verse, but I felt like an element of surprise or full circle closure was missing. It just felt too easy for you - and self explanatory is fine, yet an underlying message helps too. Good name @ Don Goldpearl, pretty humorous. It was a decent verse, overall.

Vote - Adonis

I've got Adonis for a verse I liked a little more.
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