[uh-oh]

N

sadly

doing everything in my power to not smoke

its been 24 hours since surgery im still swoll up tho and they took 4 teeth, i talked them into taking the other two since the infection spread super bad and were above them too, and those two teeth were going the same route as the two really bad ones, in a year or so they would be in the same spot

the only good news is im not dead yet, and all my other teeth are BOSS MONEY

no cavitys no nothing.

the bad news is, up top all have up front is my two front teeth.

my mom is gonna help me get a partial clip thing, so i can just clip in the 4 fake teeth im missing and look like a normal person

surgery was the scariest shit in my life, i might be traumatized. i didnt wake up tho, but the post surgery people didnt know he took the other two, so i only had gauze in the one side, and i was pouring blood out the other side, i was in a haze with bitches everywhere looking at me cry while mumbling IT HURTSSSSSSSSS. i was more scared than anything, it didnt hurt that bad, my jaw did cuz they were manhandling me im sure.

but one second they're telling me to breathe oxygen and pulling on my arms i felt like i was on a space ship, the next im biting on gauze with a head full of pain and people stressing and freaking out

so naturally i was bugging out.

they pulled them and drained what they could, and left drains in my gums, which they took out today, which was the worst pain i ever felt in my entire life

i was 4 hours from my last shot of dillaudid or however you spell it so i could feel everything, the dude took little scissors and snipped my gums where the clots were, and then pulled these giant drain tubes out a tiny hole, i wasnt medicated, the fine asian nurse felt for me bad, i was like OHHHHHH shit, please stop.

this was the most terrifying experience of my life.

i learned i would NOT. hold up to torture. to the point where i will rat out america before torture is even an option.

i've been stomped out, punched kicked, stabbed myself in the hand with one of them grill forks, almost cut my finger off with a closing knife stabbing a tire, been attacked by dogs, a spider, everythig

nothing compares to the torture i've gone through the past three days

they took blood on 9 different occasions, well 7, but they failed twice

2 seperate IV's

i got a shot in the stomach to prevent blood clots

my face is still about as swollen as that pic up there

im charging my phone tho, i got a good pic on there when it was almost at its worst

i wanted to post on here but the hospitals wifi blocked this site and everything else basically, and my phone got no service in the wing i was in.

it wasnt ICU, but the step above that. in regular admittance, its every 8 hours they come and check on your vitals. where i was at its every 4 hours. so no sleep was had, i was with old people with cancers and serious problems.

its been rough

theres still a good chance staph develops, which IN MY HEAD sounds terrible, and im on steroids, antibiotics, whatever the staph meds are, and percs

im scared its gonna get bad again because i still have a good amount of swelling, but my vitals are back to normal and everything seems, good, just gotta let the meds run there course



i wanna try and put that all into better perspective and less run on, but im still a little WACKED out and i just got home

bout to smoke a cig through my nose