[Cereal_Killa]

Mercy:
avatar hmmm meeze thinks that that is awesome.. i will be saving that pic :)

the liquid, viral disease flushing its way straight down the page – kinda reminds of a story i was told about las vegas and its 3d pokie machines.. the ghost buster one
Internal rhymes are nichhheee kinda like im splooshing around in it..

Hitting the modern zone of sarcasm and then into the totality, with the added splash of enmity doth EMITS a pungent flavour of NAPOLEON the pig..

we
buck and recoil
obstruct and avoid

I like..

The acceptance of the world as truly raw and brutal as she is, was what made this verse.. So The reader lands into your caring hands at the end.. holding us above the cess pool underneath

soulistice:
Man otay i was kinda hoping you put the word SKAllywag in their but you did not, and now i hate you..
ahh kinda love the fact you caught Mercy’s hand ish..
Your story as far as characters goes cool, you got your main bumpen so his jumpen around, taking ish moven ish.. scenery action all set very smoothly..
The story its self is ok, this is where it feel.. i was reading a book so kinda like the book they read in pleasantvile.. i don’t remember atm due to that fact its late and the f’cken VOICE was on Tv for what felt like 10hrs today..
But yeh anywhoot it was just the rhymes and tbh it doesn’t matter on a mammoth scale but i would rather someone add diction and description then sacrifice it for a flat rhyme..
YAEO MEAN

Vote = Johnathon Mercy

Nice the wee lil portal he opened up was nice to slide down and muck around in.. I had fun g/l guys