Netcees - View Single Post - Week 12: 13. Perpendicular (1-1) vs. 14. Adonis (4-7) \\ Adonis wins 7-2

Cereal_Killa · 05-18-2014, 11:22 AM

Perp:

“I'm freezing cold as the desert sandcastles erupt”

The rhythm off the fifth bar up to the seventh highly fluent

Shit-Like Diamond threads/strings omg

Description out the yingyang :)

“There's no difference in death from the urn to the grave -
you've earned your mistakes and certainly made”

The intro to this, capturing your reader by putting them into a young boy’s perspective.. perfect
What hit was the actual run, thus far the nursery rhyme affect due 2,1 feet.. Beautiful, tbh i kinda hoped for more

“my dream stasis has me facin' faces of death.” Line of the verse

“The brightest ideas come from the blackest of whims. – the slow draw back to the departure of the verse”

Alot of people are hitting these feelings, right now revelance is mammoth..

Man honestly this ish was cool, kinda reminds me of an ol’ Jowelz style brought back to life.. but also TRAP from RM.. Nice drop dude..

Adonis:
Ohhhhh boyeeee..
“Mountains weep. Sulfur seeping from its opening crown.”
Ah yeh that ish is nasty, see you have one child and then you have its head caved in..i do like, i do

The scenary is truly captivating and subtle.. Second line in, if people where aloud to run free with emotions in constant rotation.. i would have cried legit..

What you have done can’t be touched.. Pop, POP..say for instance you have a cigarette and a bubble blower, then you blow the smoke through the bubbles.. its consistently enveloping the colours softly..
Oh with the story on demand.. never ever overtaking away from the reader getting swallowed by the verses warmth.. gotttt damn..

Your vivid view on mythology – bringing your own world alive was:
1# romantic
2#fucken sexy

Thank You..

Vote = Adonis

My oh my, this match insane to the very core.. well done guys and g/l

05-18-2014, 11:22 AM	#10
Cereal_Killa Licking Lily's.. Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 706 Battle Record: 11-6 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 3565733	Perp: “I'm freezing cold as the desert sandcastles erupt” The rhythm off the fifth bar up to the seventh highly fluent Shit-Like Diamond threads/strings omg Description out the yingyang :) “There's no difference in death from the urn to the grave - you've earned your mistakes and certainly made” The intro to this, capturing your reader by putting them into a young boy’s perspective.. perfect What hit was the actual run, thus far the nursery rhyme affect due 2,1 feet.. Beautiful, tbh i kinda hoped for more “my dream stasis has me facin' faces of death.” Line of the verse “The brightest ideas come from the blackest of whims. – the slow draw back to the departure of the verse” Alot of people are hitting these feelings, right now revelance is mammoth.. Man honestly this ish was cool, kinda reminds me of an ol’ Jowelz style brought back to life.. but also TRAP from RM.. Nice drop dude.. Adonis: Ohhhhh boyeeee.. “Mountains weep. Sulfur seeping from its opening crown.” Ah yeh that ish is nasty, see you have one child and then you have its head caved in..i do like, i do The scenary is truly captivating and subtle.. Second line in, if people where aloud to run free with emotions in constant rotation.. i would have cried legit.. What you have done can’t be touched.. Pop, POP..say for instance you have a cigarette and a bubble blower, then you blow the smoke through the bubbles.. its consistently enveloping the colours softly.. Oh with the story on demand.. never ever overtaking away from the reader getting swallowed by the verses warmth.. gotttt damn.. Your vivid view on mythology – bringing your own world alive was: 1# romantic 2#fucken sexy Thank You.. Vote = Adonis My oh my, this match insane to the very core.. well done guys and g/l __________________ You think YOU'RE sick I shit cough drops .. Last edited by Cereal_Killa; 05-18-2014 at 11:25 AM.