Certain - started off talking about a strong themed female figure. kinda symbolic. like an ancient past life of a past wife. sorry that rhymed not tr yna showcase. still stickin true that that female main character tho. dont really get it. she melds into an acknowledgement of societies monetary standards.. like you're getting raped by the bitch you hold as holier than thou, if you will. you kinda turned it to an attack on your competition, but i truly didn't grasp ahold of a solid premise which you were attacking your competitor with. with all due respect.. this seemed like some time in the moment shit you might not have fully developed. but on the real, i actually like it and wish you took it further and made some more specific accusations/aspirations come to life.
vulgar - i really enjoyed your classical music inclusions. unlike your competitor, you gave your attacks some ... solid things i could grasp ahold of. concertos, psalms, cellos. bleedings cellos.. at that. i felt like your piece had something tangible to grasp ahold of. something serious that you were potraying throughout. pinpointing what you were grasping ahold of is beyond me at the moment. but the feeling you were portraying was personified by your relation to musical phrases, throughout. like here,
Sketch up the Kierkegaard flight manuals, set aside deposit slips
Genocide is bottomless, exorcise what knowledge is
Chills up your proverbial spine from the Seven Tribes of Novelists
Tuskegee airmen took a wrench to my sarcophagus
and pulled out a number of diseases that petrified biologists
you really jumped around. from space exploration, to knowledge, to writing, to religion, to science. even through you really didn't tie everything together super solid, you did a great job of being prolific and giving me, as an audience, a sense of gratification from the words you were saying. you really embodied the feeling i got from your verse with this one line..
Life's a science project - a teenage assimilation of versions of events
and i respect your approach immensely. it was simply more gratifying...
/v vulgar - he gave me a deeper, more satisfying read. and for that, i give him the V.
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