[oats]

Perp: rhyming was top shelf, which I thoroughly enjoyed. It was engrossing, and it carried me from line to line breezily. In terms of individual lines, you had a number of gems, but as a whole piece I thought this was a little uneven. There were multiple distinct thoughts in there, all interesting, but they felt incongruous. I would have liked to see more analysis of the initial rituals, more of your wit and satire. The wading into the relationship and parenthood didn't interest me much.

Frank: This was a cool story, lots to like about it. As far as capturing a moment in time, no one does it better. Reminded me of Hills like White Elephants by Hemingway. This seems to be a recurring theme when I read your work - it reminds me of some of my favorite stories. There is something very human and familiar to stories like these, something all of us can relate to on our own terms. That being said, I did find this pretty simple, and other than showing me a cool, relatable scene, it didn't evoke much from me. To your credit, you treated this woman with a great deal of sympathy, which is what hooked me in. I think the biggest gripe I had was that, because of her name and other details, the ending was not a twist or revelation. It ended with what we already knew from the onset. It just felt limp. Beyond that, the actual writing of this was sub-par, hard to pick up on a rhythm, and the rhymes were stretched a bit too thin at times.


Vote: Tough call. Great writing/lesser topic vs. better topic/mediocre writing. Ultimately, I think Frank shot himself in the foot with his execution and let Perp sneak a win despite having a less interesting take on the topic. Close call though.