[Certain]

Perpendicular: I liked the approach, and I respected the writing. You write with an emphasis on the technical, putting more into rhymes and sounds and such than actual phrasing. That's to say, your diction couldn't hold up in unrhymed poetry or prose; it's very specific to this genre of writing. But I can respect the deftness with which you use the mechanical standards of our sport. Where I think this verse struggled is that the approach to the topic, the parenthood angle, was buried way too low. Instead of using your mating-ritual lead to tie into the topic, your ending shifted gears abruptly and awkwardly. I thought you had something going, but that turned me off. I didn't think the paternistic relationship angle was well developed.

Frank: The idea of this fake woman running into a very real problem was interesting. Some of your diction seemed rough and rushed, with more grammatical errors than I'm used to from you. The rhymes were OK, though you slant so hard and stretch so far at times that it makes the cadence a bit tough to pick up on this one, whereas last week it was pretty obvious where you were connecting rhymes. I looked at the realism of this as a bit prismatic of the experience. The name Fertility was a bit off in word choice but smart in concept; perhaps Vanity or something in that vein would have better described our character, but it was a good call not to give her a traditional name and instead form this story as allegorical. I do wish the connection to the future (and the topic) had been more emphasized. That seemed weak here. But I think you won this by investing yourself more deeply into your concept.

Vote: Frank