I'm gonna leave you genuine feed. No troll, this was nothing special. The rhymes were very basic and the flow was predictable. If you want to rap, then write your verse to a specific beat that you choose and then practice your delivery. Add inner rhymes to break the monotony, and add multis and metaphors and such. Because as I see this now, and god don't get offended again, I can tell your just beginning and trying to find your style.
Allot of guys here could give you great pointers on executing what you're trying to do, which is rap, but if you disagree with everyone who says you're not good then why would they waste their time? You say none of us will ever make it rapping, but really none of us want to. What we DO know is how to write. Listen to real advice, and please stop being obnoxious when someone says something negative. Seriously. Peace.
|