The homophone pun at the end made for a good comment, with the fruits of your labor phrase pointing to both work and childbirth. Don't really understand how a story about a snake is a encapsulated response, but the stimulus is pretty ambiguous, so it perhaps connects tangentially. Didn't really enjoy all the poetic ways of writing things (E.g., palanquins + amaranth) direct and accurate is personally preferential, but you did have a strong command of language here. The story was also consistent, good progression, nice stylistic maturity. It compares well with the other submission. It is like a parody of a parody. Cereal killer already spelled the name as "Cereal." In terms of writing you brought a lot of energy and some light humor which is always nice, but it seems like it's misdirected onto something that isn't that good of a concept to begin with. Satire is good until it becomes bigger than the joke itself and relies too heavily on the thing it is commenting about. Your effort feels like something that doesn't stand well enough on it's own. Perhaps, if the language was extremely great it would be enough, but it's just the one central joke and it feels a bit one-dimensional. Voting for CK.
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