Illergic- it took me a second to see what you did there lol. Abusive men, brothers that are financially spectral opposites, crooked cops, the failed president... This was cool. I was hoping for a more specific idea throughout, but I liked your approach. To me it was a little new, format-wise. Solid rhyme structure, didn't come off gaudy, but I think that cliche finishing stanza could have been delivered in a more refreshing way. Something out of the box. Overall cool piece tho.
Frank- i'm glad I didn't go against this verse. Holy shit. I didn't like the guns in this story because I didn't feel they matched the setting, but that was seriously my only gripe. This is probably the most solid rhyme scheme I've seen this week. The whole beginning had me in stitches. How the fuck you gonna write a harlequin novel topical? Well obviously you did it. And you did it well.
MVGT Frank for a hands down killer verse.
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Ahem.
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