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Old 05-04-2014, 11:18 PM   #9
Soulstice
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 387
Battle Record: 18-21


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- Short-Verse Topical

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perpendicular - dope. really went at society as a whole with tounge in cheek humor and plenty of real world examples, you didnt even need to really outline the topic. the flow of images developed the encompassing thought on their own. flow was nice, language was consistent, no complaints, enjoyed the piece and apprciated some of clever moments (electronic yielding tounge in cheek, etc)

oats - this was reminiscent. took me down your memory lane, a lot of nods to typical early teenage behavior that i think everyone on this board could certainly appreciate. the nods to your environment as a youngin were a nice touch, but i think they could've done more to make it personal - dialogue, more specific nods to your life - all i gathered is you went to a private school in the tropical area (i imagined florida, because i thought you were american, lol) and the board shorts stanza was the only one with specific introspection. it didnt seem specifically tailored to you, imo. i enjoyed it and left me feeling something after, as any good piece should. however, once i use this voting space to hash out my thoughts i am left voting for perp

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