View Single Post
Old 05-04-2014, 10:26 PM   #10
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
Vulgar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

Accomplishments
- OM HOF

Champed
- Fight Night LIV
- Gimmick Battle League (2x)
- Write Week II
- Art of Writing League
- Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament
- STI
- Haiku Writer Challenge
- GWL Picture Challenge(2x)

Rep Power: 49604320
Vulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant futureVulgar has a brilliant future
Default

John Mercy - This was generally good, a droplet of the topic that I might've liked to see formulate into a pool. The representative use of each word as a character from a versatile background was interesting but inconclusive. We're told, but not shown. A thorough example might be OneBeLo's verse on his track Evil of Self. I like your writing but I also enjoy a full plate.

VV - The veracity of the action reminded me of an Ice Cube crime movie in fast forward.. I felt like going more John Grisham with this would've benefited you wholesomely. I somewhat followed and I somewhat didn't. There was high volume event horizons, demanding better info about who this cop actually is and what his motives are. This was forgettable, but daring.

Vote VV.
Vulgar is offline