Power Ranks
—by God of War—
1. Hollywood
this dude has been an issue since netcees. Probably
one of my favorite writers there and here. he has hard
punches really nice wordplay and a threat to any title
match he goes up against
2. Cashius
yep cash just signed back in but he is a monster and
gets a top spot right away . if you wonder why you wont
after he eats his opponent.
3. Strikta
strikta my dude and i think he gets hated on a little bit
i always thought his style got hated on but he has nice
punches good wording and has done damage to
4. Sharp Nine
this dude has come up heaps in my opinion and has some
nice punchlines, i can see sharp being a problem for a while
in any league w alot of big named battlers.plus he had a
nasty verse last week
5. Knucklehead
been doing his thing for a minute. still seems to have some
rust after i just peeped his defiant battle but still winning
so he gets top 5
6. Utmost
another dude that has improved a shit load, nice punches
nice wording crisp concents, dope job bro
Honorable Mentions
Defcon — this dude is a beast and one of the best battles
i seen of last year was him verses kenny the g so if he isnt
rusty he gonn eat people
Nomad — kid got potential, think his wording is long as fuck n etc
but he got a chance to get shit right
Defiant — he just lost or id have him in a top spot but it look like
he lazing back n taking it easy instead of trying to eat.
Cheers 'n' Jeers
—by bleak—
1: Cheer for AK and Sn00p, who seem to be in the finals for everything.
2: Cheers for Holly, for being consistent in denying who he actually is.
3: Cheers for Sharp Nine, who is making waves in the ladders.
4: Cheers for the fact that all no shows were double no shows.
5: Cheers for more competition in the league.
6: Cheers for Sn00p running all of this shit.
1: Jeer for Nik, who quits text every other month.
2: Jeers for DG, who will never realize how much we actually hate her presence.
3: Jeers for He whose name shall not be spoken, who realizes how much we hate him, but still tries.
4: Jeers for Hollywood looking like Dikembe Mutombo. NOT IN MY HOUSE lookin ass.
5: Jeers for Allen closing that thread before we really even started.
6: Jeers for people still not voting and/or posting links.
7: Jeers/Cheers for Lars having such a cool story about the past in Discussion.
Welcome back to 2013, AOB. This should be a fun week.
Predictions
@Hollywood vs. @Knucklehead
Is Hollywood Lyrs? Is Lyrs Salamander? Is Hollywood
Salamander? No matter how many of these questions
arouse, one thing's unquestioned, and that is Holly's
skill. Knucklehead is no one to take lightly, but going
against someone that's unbeaten running the gauntlet,
he will have to bring his very best. But then, Holly CAN
drop a little lazy at times. If he underestimates the
simian menace that Knucklehead poses, he could be
caught. Knowing that winning this will put him in a
champ match though, I doubt that he slacks. There-
fore, I predict him to beat the maybe still slightly
rusty Knucklehead and advance to the Champ Match.
@Dominate vs. @Utmost
Dominate may be Australian, but he is also a damn
good text battler. But then again, Utmost has been
improving at an alarming rate. If he keeps up the pace
he will catch upsets soon. Will Dom be the first of 'em?
Probably not. Dominate is a certified top tier text batt-
ler and Utmost is still trying to get there. That's why
I predict him to win this too. But then again, I like the
underdog just as much as everyone else, so please,
Ut, prove me wrong and make this the upset and battle
of the week!
@Sharp Nine vs. @RPK
Here, we have two more fast learners. Fucking head
of the class typea dudes. Sharp Nine has become an
overall solid text battler. RPK has the wording down,
but comes incredibly lazy at times. Don't get me wrong,
his wording's still good at those times, but he just does
not give a fuck about putting thought into his concept.
And that's where Sharp will catch him, I think. I got
Sharp as the more well-rounded of the two winning.
@Boredom vs. @Strikta
Another good battle. Bore's been battling a lot and he's
been winning too. Strik took a short break from text. I
think he managed to go like full 5 days without it. So
yeah, he isn't rusty at all. And Strikta is pretty damn
good at text if he ain't rusty. Has some of the best ge-
nerics around nowadays. I don't think that Boredom
will be able to top that, but then again I really wish so,
because he deserves to get some upsets by now. I
still got Strikta, but Boredom's here for surprises.
@151 vs. @God Of War
Unless 151 is a dope alias, God got this easy. I mean,
I don't have much to say about the good old 151, since
he's never battled here before. I kinda like his name tho,
that's why I fear he might be an alias. If he is, he can
make this close. If he isn't, he will go under against the
hard-hitting lines with surprisingly good wording for a
dude typing withsfd hsi elgbowzz. Because GoW is known
to bring 'em.
@Cashius vs. @Skunk
Skunk seemed like a chilled guy last week, just from the
posts he made in the chat thread. But I don't know
whether that relates to text skill. If he doesn't, he's in
trouble here, because Cash is one of the better dudes
around. He's got good concepts and good wording and
that should be enough to win here, unless Skunk knows
what he's doing because he's an alias or a wunderkind.
@Def_fuckin_5 vs. @PowPowBang
Def will be rusty, and that's Pow's chance. Pow sounds
like the kinda name Orc would choose tbh. I don't even
know why, but something reminded me of the good old
Burden when I heard it. If he's an Orc alias, he has good
chances in this. If he isn't, even a rusty Def will probably
be able to take him down. I got my money on Def.
@Dystopian vs. @Rayge
This will be quite the decent battle. Rayge has been
solid for a while and gets better too. Dys has some really
dope punchlines and then some not so good ones. If he
can just learn to stay consistent, he'll be good enough to
beat someone like Rayge. But as of now, I think Rayge is
the more consistent hitter of the too. And that will most
likely favor him a lot in the battle. I got Rayge, but Dys
is on my watch list. (Is he Plot by the way? The avy...)
@Defiant vs. @bleak
Def is good and bleak is getting better fast. I really like
bleak's wording nowadays. And that's always been the
one thing holding Def back. We'll see if that makes enough
of a difference here for bleak to win. He could very well do,
but Defiant's been around way longer and has got the ex-
perience on his side. I think that favors him here, but bleak
definitely has what it takes to make battles like these close
or win them.
@Witty vs. @Mac
Witty had his off-week in Week 4. But he still is one of good
new faces. I know that he's been around for a while, but to
me, he still feels new. Anyways, Mac's been dropping decent
verses. He's one of the people who could learn a lot from the
Ultimate Writer, I think. If you want, you can peep the Ulti-
mate Writer Semi-Finals Mag, Mac. Might be some shit you
could profit from in there. And yeah, Witty has already learned
most of what I'd advise Mac to study. That means he's on the
next level of txtceeing. Which is why I think he'll win this.
Mac can be good though, if he keeps elevating. Don't give up,
yo.
@Spartacus vs. @Split
I don't know Spartacus 'cause he's new and I don't remember
whether Split's good at battling, because I haven't read an
battle verse from him in quite some time. Damn. I do know that
Split's good at topicals, so if he can translate to battling, he
should be able to win against a newer guy. Spart has a cool
name though, so he might be an alias. Who knows? I don't,
apparently.
@Flo Real vs. @Vinzr
Both are decent. This will probably be an even battle. I feel
like Flo is slightly more creative but slightly worse at presenting
his lines. So this might depend of the voters' preference a lot.
I don't know; I'm pretty 50/50 on this, but if I had to choose
one, it'd be Vinzr probably. But only because he has more ex-
perience doing txt. This will be an open battle though. Both
can definitely win this if they try hard enough. G'luck you two.
@Ox vs. @Lotto Smirk
Some people thought Ox dropped really good last week and
got robbed. Lotto seems to be new to the site. I think that
favors Ox. Especially, since he seems to be really motivated
to avenge his (in some people's eyes) undeserved loss. So
yeah, he's the safe pick here. Lotto might just come with it
though.
@-_- vs. @Nomad
Nomad was very consistently decent last week. He knows how
to formulate a punch though. -_- has a name that makes any
ranking thread look weird. I think he just registered as that to
fuck me over. I SEE YOU, BRO. And you probably just wish you
could say the same. Ol' squinty eyes motherfucker. Oh well, I'm
obviously just kidding here. Uhm, I got Nomad. I know he's decent
and will only get better once he shakes off the rust. And I don't
know -_-. Whom I will refer to as Robert from now on. Just 'cause
it pisses my inner grammar Nazi off to use his name next to punc-
tuation, since that looks weird. So yeah, Robert might be an alias.
Than he could win here. I don't know. Time will tell.
@schoolblock vs. @Trouble
Schoolblock sounds German. lol. It's 'cause in German, you can
just chain nouns to one another in one word. Like 'sky scraper'
is 'Wolkenkratzer'. And 'sky scraper entrance' is 'Wolkenkratzereingang'.
And you can do that to infinity and beyond. So something like
Wolkenkratzereingangstürknaufmessingherstellungsfa brikant is
a grammatically correct word. And schoolblock seems to have
done the same with his name. Which makes him that much cooler
in my eyes. Yeah, fuck an educated prediction. Anyone that tries
to be German with his name is a fucking winner in my eyes. I got
schoolblock in a landslide here.