[Frank]

Split

Poetic penmanship. This character description of this lady was very flowery and wafty. I imagine you writing with delicate movement of a puppet handlers working the strings. You always have some intoxicating lines that spell bind the piece but more often than not its all a bunch kaleidoscope bs. I read your stuff for the occsional gems via imagery. I'm not reading your stuff cause I'm trying read something that actually makes sense. No. Quite the contrary. Your writing is not top tier as it's been eluded to, but it is in it's own league of abstracness. In this league theres other weirdos with subforums of their own. You are an individual. Your tendency to completely abandon schemes and write tangentially about topics is somewhat what you've become known for. Odd descriptions from a nerdy, zany writer. This verse is caked up, but underneath it all, it's pretty plain jane. The topic, in my estimation, is a metaphor for man being a slave to the beauty of woman.

Vulgar

The writing is really coming along, from a comprehensive, cohesive viewpoint. I'm finishing your reads with a different kind of satisfaction that correlates directly to your more straightforward writing. Your reference heavy wording has taken a backseat and I fear it is not for the best. Even so, this piece(and basketball game of death) have been gangster. I'm sure you are still capable of grandiose topical writing and I think by implementing that style would be your advantage, more so. I enjoyed this tale of the hit squad in the warehouse. It was sinister story telling. Reminded me of NYCSPITZ/Totoro. My advice would be to you - do not be a spineless whelp and neglect the true vulgar. Do you.

Battles are determined by the better connection with the topic given in retrospect to the perspective of the reader.

Voting Split for his cuff N locket love sonnet