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Old 05-03-2014, 12:41 PM   #5
timeless
past tense
 
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Jw, this was a cool and easy read, nothing aside from the ending felt forced. Just felt it couldve been not so sudden. Overall with the story, nothing really happened. It was dull, was waiting for something to happen but it never did. Doesnt mean I didnt enjoy your approach, just felt it couldve been better.

Zombie, not bad. Im sure most of this wording was intentional but it strayed for my liking. Also wished the last part wasnt so distant from the first parts as well, felt you couldve had more of a twist of sorts.

V. Just write for the more rounded, complete read.
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