Illergic, this could have been great. I really thought there were a lot of shining moment in this but I dont feel you finished it out with the impact you could have had. I mean it was just a bland ending, when I read something I want to ve like "damn" or "wow" at the end. This one I was more like, "huh..ok." don't get me wrong, it was a well written piece, I just don't think it was enough to beat frank.
Frank, dude the same scheme shit all the way through is so fuckin monotonous and annoying. As for the story itself it was cool, a lot more descriptive than your opponents and despite what I said about the rhyme scheme annoyance it was entertaining, I did chuckle at a few parts. Clitoris nub, illegitimate cum ect.. so props tmmore making it a humorous and fun read.
Mvgt=frank
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