Entertaining read on both ends here. Nice clash of raw styles. timeless, I like to do something you did similar here (outside of centering a verse) which is build a story up then bringing everyone right into the meat of it. You did that with your opening sections, which was written well. The first stanza laid a foundation and then the second one set the scene for your story. Now getting into the meat of it, your story dives into the president, putting the finishing touches on a plan to divide the world up, the reporters anxiously wanting to ask what are his motives, curious to understand his vision. He is then interrupted by a phone call from Putin who has his family hostage as means to sort of thwart his plan which he concocted. That was a crazy, out the blue switch up. You rounded off nicely with the ending stanza. The president had what he probably felt was the perfect plan, but through his own imperfection couldn't devise such. I suck sometimes at explaining but that's what I took from it. Good story though. Then there is Adonis, who went this crazy but creative route, and it seemed this topic was perfect for your grand plan, which fits a lot of the current comments made about your writing and personality. But you wrote this very well, using the names of AOWL members to fit in this ideal picture you wanted to make clear: despite others opinions of your radical form of writing, your perfection is through your imperfection. How's that for a mind fuck? Whatever your message, it was clear and I really like the way you wrote this. It was clean, less fractured. And it actually meshed with the topic, though the first read made me believe that this was just a toss up verse. Good stuff.
So, while I liked the different directions, one stood out more. I think your both hit the topic well, and wrote nicely. I feel timeless succeeded a tad better writing wise and with his content. I always like a good story. Adonis succeeded more in that his direction was riskier (which the risk worked imo) and more creative. It had more of a personal feel. My deciding factor comes in timeless story. For the direction he went, the dialouge was okay but the Putin part read more forced meaning you sacrificed better conversation for a simpler one to rhyme if that makes sense. A more deeper explanation of the kidnapping would have been good as well. So, I'm going with Adonis here, for a more creative, personal touch, without any real hiccups.
MVGT: Adonis. Good job by both competitors.
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