[Split]

wooly mom-eth

The beginning was as Cake said, bright-eyed, whereas the ending was more Bright Eyes. Really poignant story, like a vignette more than anything. I like how religion plays an ephemeral role here, in fact it's really masterfully neutral. It provides the father no comfort, no lesson, no hope... and yet it is what he turns to in desperation, what pulls him back in his moment of weakness- (perhaps though it is the base morality instilled in him as a child, for you say he no longer has faith), and touches on how faith rarely provides true hope for anything but mercy and how cruel that can be.

I really did not like the ending though, where the baby physically appears as an angel poltergeist besides the protagonist. Such a deus ex or maybe just a sloppy plot fix. The verse really had an incredibly natural and plain-spoken cohesion to it that maybe you didn't recognize the importance of the grounded reality of the verse... i dunno, i just feel as though you really wrote from the heart and it was really effective until you brought in that corny ending. :/


adonis.


from Skimming the lake to live freely was lost on me. I think a cyclone got the boat. I originally wrote that section was hot garbage, but that's unfair because it is tender and you didn't stumble, it just wasn't as clear as my stupid fuck mind wants it to be. The last section was gorgeous. I liked the scene and the imagery and the wording but I don't get a feeling of closure from the end, neither in regards to the topic nor to the significance of the sailboat's sinking other than the unprovoked, unconscionable savagery of mother nature.

V/ DITW. Her writing was more intricately woven around the topic.